


stan and richie are gay and dumb

by sharkman4000



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Losers Club (IT) Group Chat, M/M, group chat/texting au!, minimal or nonexistent angst, richie pines after eddie, stan meets mike and gets a big ol crush, the Losers aren't the Losers yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:29:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21928504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkman4000/pseuds/sharkman4000
Summary: (THIS FIC HAS BEEN ABANDONED, rip 🙏, 2020 has not been kind to me lmaooo)Stan meets someone cute at the library. Richie pesters him about it.Richie has a crush on Eddie. Eddie thinks Richie is annoying. Simple as that.Modern group chat/texting AU that takes place during their junior year of high school.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris
Comments: 16
Kudos: 105





	1. library meet-cute, richie is a pest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> award for dumbest title goes to me <3. it's a wip. lol.
> 
> this is just a cute lil fluffy group chat fic. will eventually become an actual Losers group chat, but to start it's richie and stan. the fic will be richie/stan-centric (but they're just friends).
> 
> there'll be some non-texting interludes as needed!
> 
> enjoy~

sat nov 30 2019 @ 2pm

Stan & Richie

**stanny boy**: So, something exciting happened today when I went to the library.

**Richie**: we're on break and you went to the library????

**stanny boy**: I wanted to get work done on the history project that’s due at the end of next week.

**Richie**: fuckin nerd

**Richie**: …also there’s a history project?

**stanny boy**: We’re partners. I’ve done most of it already.

**Richie**: i love u and will give you a thousand kisses once im back in derry

**stanny boy**: Keep your lips to yourself. You’re doing my physics homework for two weeks.

**Richie**: i love u less now

**stanny boy**: Great, I don’t care. 🙂

**stanny boy**: Anyways, I met someone new.

**Richie**: gimme the deeeeeets

**stanny boy**: His name is Mike. He works in the library archives which is why I’ve never seen him before. 

**stanny boy**: Most of the regular librarians took time off for the holidays so he was working upstairs. He works every day because he’s homeschooled.

**Richie**: so he’s a hermit like you

**stanny boy**: Yes.

**stanny boy**: He’s very kind and helpful. With his help I was able to finish all of the research for our project in an hour.

**Richie**: he cute tho?

**stanny boy**: I’m not answering that.

**Richie**: so he is

**Richie**: tell me more (tell me more)

**stanny boy**: If you send any more Grease lyrics I’m going to disown you.

**stanny boy**: You were insufferable for an entire month after watching that movie.

**Richie**: aww :((((( i thought i was always insufferable

**Richie**: but seriously, tell me more about ~mike~ uwu

**Richie**: currently dying from boredom hanging out with all my relatives

**Richie**: im this close to tying all the sheets together and jumping out the window

**stanny boy**: I’ll be cheering you on from the ground.

**stanny boy**: Right before I left he said I should come and visit the archives sometime.

**Richie**: let me guess

**Richie**: you laughed awkwardly didnt say a word and left quickly

**stanny boy**: Yes.

**stanny boy**: I didn’t even thank him for helping with the project. 

**Richie**: take him out to lunch or something

**stanny boy**: Huh. That’s actually a good idea. 

**stanny boy**: Maybe I'll go to the library tomorrow and invite him.

**stanny boy**: Oh

**Richie**: what

**stanny boy**: I just opened the book he helped me find.

**stanny boy**: He gave me a slip of paper with his phone number.

**stanny boy**: Do you think he was flirting with me?

**Richie**: ur not dumb about many things but this is one of those things

**Richie**: YES he was flirting and YES you should text him ;3

**stanny boy**: Don’t wink at me. 

**Richie**: if u dont text mike before i get back im stealing ur phone when I see u and im gonna send him that shirtless pic of you swimming 

**Richie**: captioned with a dozen water drop emojis

**stanny boy**: You took that photo without my permission and you will show it to no one.

**stanny boy**: When you get back I’m stealing your phone and throwing it down a sewer drain 🙂

**Richie**: no,

**Richie**: when i get back we're gonna watch grease in ur basement and gossip about our man crushes

**stanny boy**: Sounds torturous. 

**stanny boy**: See you on Sunday.

**Richie**: ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ 

**stanny boy**: If you don’t bring me Twizzlers I’ll break your glasses and make you eat the pieces ❤️ 

**Richie**: see u sunday ❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter: bill and eds! 
> 
> I swear bev and ben will show up eventually. gotta get some basic plot out first tho.
> 
> updates should be pretty frequent because the chapters are short and sweet.
> 
> see u sooooooon


	2. two lil bitches (bill and eds)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bill and eddie time

sat nov 30 2019 @ 10:30am

Bill & Eddie

**billiam**: you get your phone back yet?

sat nov 30 2019 @ 2pm

**billiam**: I’ll take that as a no

sat nov 30 2019 @ 11pm

**edward**: GOD ive finally been freed from mandatory holiday bonding time

**edward**: i met a “nice girl” my mom is trying to set me up with

**edward**: 90% sure we’re related 

**edward**: shes like my second cousin twice removed or some bullshit?? my mom has no problem with this???

**billiam**: hey eddie my thanksgiving was great thanks

**edward**: sorry bro

**edward**: i thought potential incest was more important than ur fucking turkey

**billiam**: I'd say “wow your family sucks” but you’ve heard it 100000000 times lol

**billiam**: and for the record I still hate it when you call me bro

**edward**: what’s ur damage, bro

**edward**: you call all ur other friends bro

**billiam**: I call them bros because that’s what they are

**billiam**: if you were like ten inches taller and exercised more than twice a year you too could be a bro

**edward**: no thank you

**edward**: besides its ur fault ur surrounded by bros

**edward**: ever since that fateful day you decided to p- pl- I can barely say it

**edward**: play......

**edward**: Sports.......

**edward**: our friendship has never been the same

**billiam**: ❤️ 

**billiam**: you’re just mad cause I can lift you with one arm and you can barely lift your own backpack lol

**edward**: hey bill

**billiam**: what

**edward**: ur a little bitch

**edward**: also

**edward**: i think i can manage to get over to ur place on sunday if i pretend we’re working on that history project

**billiam**: we could also, y’know, actually work on it because it’s due next week

**edward**: psh

**edward**: im sure itll only take us like an hour 

**billiam**: I started it already so you might actually be right lol

**billiam**: we should really get it done this weekend because we’re getting assigned a group project in lit

**edward**: FUCK

**edward**: he always randomly assigns partners so ofc ill get stuck with some dumbass

**edward**: ok i missed talking to u but ive had the longest and most exhausting day possible and im bout to crash

**billiam**: go to bed

**edward**: ❤️ u bro

**billiam**: 🖕

**edward**: the Rudest motherfucker

**billiam**: lil bitch

**edward**: nite nite

**billiam**: night eddie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any guesses as to who "some dumbass" will be? none? ok.
> 
> short chapter but next one should be coming faster and will feature my main man stan, richie, bill & eddie monday @ school!


	3. stan's a mess, richie's still a pest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stan texts mike.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this obviously isn’t monday @ school but I 100% forgot to put in stan texting mike. the school chapter is next and bev will show up tho!

sat nov 30 2019 @ 6pm

Stan & Mike

Stan is sitting on his bed staring at his phone. He told Richie he’d text Mike hours ago. There’s no reason to be this nervous about it but here he is, panicking over a thank you text. 

**Stan**: Hello, Mike.

Nope. That sounds too formal. Delete it.

**Stan**: Hi, Mike. It’s Stan. From the library.

Fuck. Not that either. Of course it’s Stan from the library. What other Stan would it be?

**Stan**: Hi Mike, this is Stan. I never properly thanked you for all your help with my research. 

Ok. Sent it.

Shit. He didn’t even actually thank him.

**Stan**: So thank you. 🙂

He hopes Mike doesn’t think the smiley face is weird. Richie’s told him plenty of times that his emoji use can be unnerving. 

Stan’s phone buzzes and he swears as he drops it.

**Mike**: Haha it was my pleasure

**Mike**: If you ever need more help, you know where to find me

**Stan**: Do you work on Monday afternoon?

**Mike**: Until 3:30, yeah

**Stan**: I can come by after school on Monday if you’d like to hang out. It’s only a 15 minute walk.

**Stan**: We can get some food

**Stan**: Or something

Stan curses silently. He’s the worst at texting. “Or something.” Real smooth. Thankfully, Mike responds quickly.

**Mike**: That’d be awesome! See you at 3:15 then?

**Stan**: 3:15 it is. 🙂

That was slightly easier than he expected. Stan leaves it at that so he doesn’t get the chance to embarrass himself more. He hopes he didn’t come off as standoffish.

6:10pm

Stan & Richie

**stanny boy**: I texted Mike and we’re hanging out after school on Monday. Please shut up about him now.

**Richie**: oooooooo stanny has a date 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

**stanny boy**: We’re just hanging out. Platonically. Something that friends do.

**stanny boy**: I literally met him today.

**Richie**: platonic My Ass

**Richie**: stop lying to urself abt ur feelings

**stanny boy**: K

**Richie**: love is a beautiful thing

**Richie**: stan

**Richie**: stan

**stanny boy**: Error: Message Not Received

**Richie**: fine 

**Richie**: ill just ttyl bby cakes

**stanny boy**: Call me that again and this friendship is over.

**Richie**: 💔

6:10pm

Mike & Ben

**mike**: BEN 

**ben**: MIKE

**mike**: Stan wants to hang out on monday!

**ben**: I told you he’d text you!!!!!!

**ben**: what are you gonna do?

**mike**: Not sure yet

**mike**: You still coming over tomorrow?

**ben**: of course

**ben**: we can plan out what you’re gonna do on monday!

**mike**: See you then, ben

**mike**: Nice rhyme, me

**ben**: ugh nothing cute rhymes with mike

**ben**: see you tomorrow!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year!
> 
> I know this isn’t the most interesting, well-written or long It fic out there (and don’t worry, I don’t mean that in a self hating way) so thank you to everyone who’s reading! I’m writing this primarily as a lil creative outlet to bring me some joy so I’m not expecting it to be some magnificent, moving, inspiring piece of literature, but I hope you all are enjoying reading this story. because I’m enjoying writing it : )
> 
> next chap coming soon!


	4. it is monday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> monday. english class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sunday came and happened, everyone hung out with their respective friends, etc. hard to write people hanging out in person thru a fic that's mostly texting. next chapter will be more non-texting, though!

mon dec 2 2019 @ 8:25am

Stan & Richie

**Richie**: ughhhhhhhhhh 

**Richie**: lit hasnt even started and im already having a bad time

**stanny boy**: I’m sure you can get through at least ten minutes.

**Richie**: 😞

**stanny boy**: Good luck.

8:55am

The teacher goes to the printer to grab their assignment sheets and most of the students pull their phones out.

**Richie**: stan

**Richie**: thisis the ebst day of my life

**Richie**: stan

**Richie**: stan

**stanny boy**: What do you want that can’t wait until next period??

**Richie**: eddie and i are partners for the lit project!!!!

**Richie**: it needs “significant out of class work time”

**stanny boy**: We can talk in study hall

**stanny boy**: But I’m turning my phone off before it gets confiscated

**stanny boy**: Bye

Meanwhile, Bill turns around in his seat to look at Eddie’s reaction to the project partner announcement. He’s fuming. Bill’s phone buzzes with a text. 

**edward**: kill me

**edward**: fuckng richie

**billiam**: I mean he's smart

**edward**: sure hes smart but hes also the most annoying

**billiam**: most annoying what

**edward**: just the most annoying

**edward:** he calls me EDDIE SPAGHETTI

**billiam**: HA I forgot about that

**edward**: oh god ill probably have to spend time with him

**billiam**: it is called a group project for a reason

**edward**: shutup

**edward:** at least u get to work with an actual normal person

**billiam**: hey I’ve never even talked to bev

**billiam**: she might also be weird and annoying like richie

**billiam**: yknow… I’ve seen her hang around richie and stan so that’s likely

**edward**: stan seems normal enough

**edward**: as normal as a friend of richie can be

**edward**: so she might be alright

**edward**: plus shes cuuuuuute

**billiam**: ….

**billiam**: yeah

**edward**: >:)

**billiam**: 🖕

Bev looks at Richie (who has an expression of extreme glee on his face) and giggles at his furious texting.

**bitch**: i see u got ~eds~ for ur partner

**bitch**: arent u like in love with him

Bev and Richie (and by extension, Stan) have only started hanging out in the last couple of weeks but they’ve grown pretty close. She figured out quickly that Richie’s had a major crush on Eddie for forever. (Forever being 9th grade.)

**douche**: hes the love of my life obv

**douche**: this is the perfect opportunity to woo him thoroughly

**bitch**: ew

**douche**: ur just jealous

**bitch**: 🤡

**bitch**: thats u

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will just be richie talking to stan about eddie. chapter after that is stan + mike's "date!"


	5. richie is dying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richie and stan plot
> 
> (richie plots while stan offers helpful advice)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter. with a twist!
> 
> the twist is just that it's regular writing and not texting. hope you like it!
> 
> it takes place right after last chapter.

mon dec 2 2019 after first period

“Stan!” Richie slams the study hall door open and yells (literally yells like he’s shouting across a field) at Stan. The teacher shushes him right away. Richie struts over to their table and unceremoniously drops his backpack.

“You’re looking at the future Mr. Kaspbrak, Stan. Take it all in.” 

Richie’s wearing blue jeans with a rip in the knee, undoubtedly from tripping on a flat surface, a plain black shirt, probably stained, and a red flannel. Future Mr. Kaspbrak looks like regular Richie.

“So, you sounded excited this morning.” Stan rolls his eyes but smiles widely at Richie.

Even though his crush on Eddie is almost pathetic at this point, Stan's happy that Richie has a chance to talk to Eddie like a normal person. Richie loves the attention he gets by being obnoxious and he’s especially obnoxious with Eddie. But, he can be quite sweet one-on-one. (Eddie’s _never_ met sweet Richie, however.) In class he acts like a third grader by poking and prodding at Eddie’s buttons until he gets pissed off. Stan’s had to listen to Richie swoon over how cute Eddie is when he’s angry for two and a half years now. 

“I’m dying. Truly.” Richie says it in a joking way but Stan can tell he’s scared. He’s never had the balls to just ask Eddie to hang out, too afraid to find out that Eddie actually hates him. That’s too heavy of a conversation to have in study hall so Stan keeps it light.

“I think you should invite him over to your place for dinner.”

“Like a date?” Richie looks spooked at that but Stan reassures him.

“No, you should cook dinner and then work on your project together.” Richie relaxes. "Do it when your parents are out for date night so you don’t have to worry about them being weird.”

“Right, so I can seduce him in peace.” 

“No.”

“No?”

“Be yourself and cook something nice for him. Like a friend would.”

“So just act like Eddie's a regular, normal friend. A friend I want to bone.”

Stan sighs.

“Just don’t be weird about it. He’s only there to eat and study.”

Richie nods and looks less nervous. Stan pats him gently on the shoulder. He makes Richie shut up after that so he can work on homework in peace. Richie texts Bev.

**douche**: stan helped me with a great plan to seduce eddie

**douche**: ill invite him over and cook for him

**douche**: and then i guess we’ll work on the project or whatever

**bitch**: yesss get it

**douche**: whod you get assigned?

**douche**: once eddies name was called i stopped paying attention

**bitch**: bill

**bitch**: hes nice!

**douche**: is that the bill that stutters or the bill whos always asleep in class

**bitch**: stutter

**bitch**: dont be rude abt it

**douche**: hey i wont

**douche**: besides

**douche**: that particular bill happens to be eddies bff… i smell an opportunity for plotting

**bitch**: no

**bitch**: im staying out of ur love life

**bitch**: crash n burn by urself

**douche**: : (

**bitch**: : )

Richie looks away from his phone to see what Stan’s up to. He’s smiling at his own phone and texting somebody. It’s definitely Mike.

“So. What’re you gonna do on your date with Mike?”

“Not a date. We’re taking a walk.” Stan goes back to texting Mike and ignores Richie.

That sounds like a boring date to Richie but he doesn’t comment any more. It does sounds like a fun date for Stan, though. He decides to not bug him about it because he doesn’t want Stan to stop smiling like that. He's never really been interested in somebody like this and Richie doesn’t want to ruin it.

But it _is _super funny to watch Stan go red and get all flustered whenever Richie brings up Mike.

He can tease him a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you everyone for (almost) 69 kudos!!! 🤘


End file.
